Being Bruce -: Food to Crave - Seriously Dangerous Blueberry Slump

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Food to Crave - Seriously Dangerous Blueberry Slump

This dessert dish is so powerfully good that I personally don't need a photo or description to start salivating. However, since most of you haven't seen, smelled, or tasted it, here at least is a photo (below) with a short story and description. You'll have to e-mail us for the recipe.

While I realize it may look sorta like a lump of brown stuff with a little yellow and a little blue around the edges, the real deal is it's a killer dessert that is pretty much guaranteed (yup, I used the "g" word) to bring looks of shocked pleasure to people who say they'll, "have just a little bit" (you know, cuz they're being polite and all). Soon, and we've seen this time and time again, people will line up with buckets and shovels with glazed eyes and a slight gleam on their foreheads.

Okay, so what is it? Well, we call it Seriously Dangerous Blueberry Slump. It's not our original recipe. We first tasted it when we were sitting at an open house in Wilmington on a rare cold, rainy day. Our friend Jennifer Lancaster had just cooked a large pan of this dessert and left it on the counter to add a great aroma to the house. My rough recollection is that Jennifer found the recipe in a church cookbook.

Anyway, I'll keep this embarrassing part short. We had few very visitors that day, but by the end of the three hour open house 3/4 of the pan was empty. None of the visitors had any. Marge had two small servings. I confess freely and happily to the rest.

So that night Marge called Jennifer and got the recipe (if you want it you have to e-mail her at The next day Marge made the recipe. Same results - most of it was gone in less time than reasonable, prudent, or perhaps even safe.

What's in it? Blueberries, pineapple, white cake mix, pecans(!), and more butter than you can imagine. For the exact proportions of the above and some other stuff to add and the mixing order and timing and all that - e-mail Marge.

Do not kid yourself about this dessert. Or anyone else. Use with discretion. No one even mentions the "D" word when they get a slight taste of Seriously Dangerous Blueberry Slump.

I wish we made it more often. (Thank goodness we have a 24-hour grocery store in the neighborhood - I'm outta here with the ingredients list. Which you can get too, just e-mail

One last note before I go out the door. As a responsible world citizen, I recognize, realize, and accept the responsibility to spreading the word about a food item that turns normally polite people (even stuffy ones) to borderline out-of-control. I also understand that Seriously Dangerous Blueberry Slump may tip the scales (in the wrong way) of totally healthy eating. Therefore, I'd like to suggest an exercise equivalent to work off the excess whatevers from one small and two large servings of Seriously Dangerous Blueberry Slump. So here's what you do: as soon as possible after consuming the last serving, head out the door with suitable clothing for your climate and walk for four days. Bring water and a charged cell phone.