Why It Helps to Know I Suck as a Manager and Administrator

It feels better and works better when I make the most of who I am, what I'm good at, and what I enjoy. When I try to do things I don't really dig and aren't really among my core strengths, I stumble, scrape my ego, and basically have a bad time. Even when I can actually do that "stuff that isn't really me", it doesn't come easily and it's not as effective or good for others as when I'm on my own "channel".


I recently posted the following thought:

"I soar with wings of passion when I inspire, motivate, and connect. When I try to manage others it's like breathing gravel." - Being Bruce


I was responding to some feelings, some intuitive-like sense that I needed a course correction, and even some thoughts. I was ably assisted by my wife Marge, who can "read me like a road sign".

The details don't matter a bit for this post , but the point was that I was drifting into some management and administrative tasks and found the road a little bumpy and un-fun. I was so involved that I didn't get outside myself to check myself out  (had I done so earlier, I might have realized it sooner), but Marge helped by pointing out that I just wasn't as happy as I normally am when I'm doing my thing, which is connecting with folks, sharing strong positive energy, and in some cases inspiring them to make positive change in their own lives.


For me, management and administrative tasks and roles are possible, but when I do them I'm running solely using my mind. And that causes me trouble as my mind second-guesses, seeks problems, mis-communicates, and basically performs in a substandard fashion.


When I'm connecting with people, focusing on their purpose and success, having fun by sharing enthusiasm and energy, that's when I'm most effective and when I help others (and myself) most. 


Many have said that it's important to use one's "emotional barometer" to stay on one's proper path. For me that's totally true. Roughly translated that means when something I'm doing feels bad, that means I probably shouldn't be doing it, because it's outside my true purpose. So the more quickly I recognize that and get back to feeling good about what I'm doing, the better it will be for me, and for others. 


So thanks Marge, and thanks to other valued friends and colleagues, for helping me see, once again, that managing and administering are not in my core purpose, not even close, so I can get back to what I love doing, and  live in alignment with my passions for connecting with and helping others become successful in their own lives. 

Should I Work Out Every Day? Yes. Should You?

My commitment to myself and my health is that I will work out every day.

It may sound odd that I speak of myself and my health as two entities because indeed my health is inextricably part of who I am. However, I can ignore my health, I can abuse it, I can maintain it, and I can improve it. Because the sense of each of those states is one entity doing something that effects the other, it works for me to consider them separate entities.

Having established that duality, it's more clear for me to see how I have responsibility for my health. Health isn't something that just happens. Like happiness or success, my health is directly affected by my actions, my thoughts, and my state of being.

I'm highly conscious that my mind can, will, and in the past has worked against my overall good, and that includes my health. It's easy for me to use my mind to justify having a second piece of pie, or not trying something new, or skipping something I know is good for me.

I don't go through life all tightly wrapped and controlled (at least I don't experience myself that way), but I am aware that I can slide into behavior patterns that, if observed objectively, are clear signs that I'm not being a good steward of my personal health. For example, skipping exercise two days in a row easily slides into weeks off, having extra helpings at dinner or two desserts for lunch one time can become every day practices - I can even trick myself into a twisted sense of "living in the now" to justify each instance of neglect or overindulgence.

So, for me, working out everyday is the  best course. I don't need to do the same type of workout every day (in fact, of course, that's not good for you either). So some days I'll work on strength training, other days cardio, some times flexibility with stretching or Yoga, I'll do plyometrics, or pilates, or Zumba or ride my bike, or whatever. The point is, not to skip.

Because here's what I've learned about how my mind will work against me. If I take a day off from exercise, then  automatically my subconscious learns, "Ok, a day off is part of Bruce's exercise routine."

Can you see the trap I set for myself? Since my subconscious (just like yours if you're human) is trying to protect me and tends to resist change or effort or struggle or pain, if I give it permission to consider days of no exercise as good for me (i.e., part of my exercise routine), then my subconscious, I've figured out, will continuously try to influence my conscious mind to take a day off because working out is work and it can be hard and it does take me away from other cool, fun, or necessary stuff I could be doing, but since days off are part of my exercise routine anyway (see how devious my mind works? .... as does yours), then I'll suddenly realize that I've gone four days, or two weeks, or three months, or even years without working out. And that I know is not good for me.

Sometimes the only way to break that pattern is for something bad to happen. Like a doctor telling me I need to lose weight, or some bad blood test results, or seeing myself in the mirror and thinking, "Huh? How did I let myself get like that?"

Granted, often the wake up call that moves me back to good habits is somewhat (or all) related to vanity and self-esteem, but in that case I'm served well if I'll re-establish a good habit.

So that's why I work out every day. Your minds (conscious and subconscious) may work differently, but I've learned I need to take charge of my actions and my conscious mind or otherwise my subconscious mind will work against my health and well-being.

I am fascinated  to hear your thoughts on this. Has anyone else reached the same conclusions about working out daily or more generally about keeping up good habits not only for your own good but also to harness the potential self-destructiveness of your subsconcious?

Notes on Mastermind Groups

I currently belong to two Mastermind Groups.

While there is no single definition of what a Mastermind Group is or how it should function, but all Mastermind Groups are based on the expectation that two or more people focusing on a common purpose will result in greater understanding, insight, or progress than the individuals can achieve separately or in smaller groups or pairs.

The two Mastermind Groups to which I belong have different purposes. One focuses on personal purpose and philosophy and each individual's state of "being". The second group was formed to assist its members in achieving specific life goals. So the former is highly subjective and the latter group is objective. There is overlap in the groups in the sense that the members of the first group know of the occupations, people, and activities of the others but focus on being true to oneself while the members of the second group have a sense of the various members' life purpose and philosophy but focus on getting things done. I personally find this a nice mix.

Here are a few other notes about the Mastermind Groups in which I'm proud to participate:

• Each group is comprised of members with common background or experience. For example, the members of my  first group went  through the full Klemmer & Associates (www.Klemmer.com) leadership and personal development training - each of us is a Compassionate Samurai, complete with ceremonial sword. This group has been going since 2006. The members of my second group, only a few months in duration, are all active members of Brian and Alexandra Johnson's en*theos Oasis for Goddesses and Philosophers (we.entheos.me). Because we have those experiences in common we can speak from shared ground and understanding (it saves a lot of time and tends to engender trust). 

• Trust is a huge factor in Mastermind Groups. When you're sharing your life purpose or your career plans with others it sure helps to know that they will 1. be on your side and 2. keep your information confidential. "What happens in Mastermind Groups stays in Mastermind Groups." Trite, but important in this context.

• Size matters. Three is too few, more than eight is too many. Four through six is the optimal group size. Too few and there's not enough shared energy - plus if people miss the meetings the dynamic change is significant. With more than eight people, individual focus is too diluted for significant benefit for all.  

Logistics (notes on when, where, how, etc.):

• The Mastermind Groups I'm in meet by phone on a conference line. That way members aren't restricted by location or transportation (as long as time zone issues are worked out for the calls). Both of my Mastermind Groups have members from different countries. I was for two years in a group that focused on Internet Marketing and that group, too, had international membership.
• One hour per week is optimal. It's regular enough to keep everyone on focus and up to date but isn't an immense time burden. If there's a mix of employees and self-employed people (meaning folks who may or may not have control of their time) the scheduling can work but be more difficult. 
• Leadership - it's best that once everyone understands how the group operates that the responsibilities shift on a regular basis, perhaps weekly. 
• Meeting Structure - it is imperative to have an agreed upon structure. With structure you can drift a bit but still be able to get back to insure that everyone gets her or his share of the time and that the group focus is kept. Without structure it's much too easy to get social or to have one  or a few people dominate the time and attention of  the group. 

I've not experienced a live Mastermind Group. Because my personal experience and benefit of telephony-based Mastermind Groups has been so positive and beneficial, I've not felt any loss.

Mastermind Groups are best when they serve to multiply the mind power, meaning the insights, knowledge, intuition, and creativity of the individual members by working in shared  purpose with like-minded people.